Uganda can’t have an Arab Spring? So what about a Winter of Despair?

Uganda’s leaders have repeatedly said that the Arab Spring cannot take place here. They argue that the conditions that sparked the Tunisian revolution, when a frustrated youth set himself ablaze, are different from ours.

But last week, we narrowly survived such a spark igniting in, of all places, parliament.

It was during a parliamentary session when a youthful MP from eastern Ugandan, Hon Geoffrey Ekanya, tried to commit suicide in frustration.

The government had refused to give his people a new district and Ekanya could not take it any longer. Some 22 districts had been given out to add to the already existing 112, but his area missed out. Moreover, it is in his area that a man ate a squeaking live rat in front of the president to show how desperately they needed a district.

Ekanya has been fighting for that district for a decade and when the new ones were announced and his area was not among the lucky ones, he lost it, re-knotted his necktie and started the process of strangling himself.

It was the quick action of fellow legislators who grabbed him that saved the country from witnessing an unprecedented tragedy.

If Ekanya, who is from the opposition FDC party, had succeeded in dying like the Tunisian youth, the country would undoubtedly have erupted into a terrible uprising and denied us the democratic elections coming in less than six months.

This is not unfounded pessimism, for the people are really on edge. The day the MP tried to strangle himself, a Catholic priest also from eastern Uganda was being rushed to hospital bleeding profusely from self-inflicted wounds. The man of God had stabbed himself repeatedly because, reportedly, a friend of his of the opposite gender had been dishonest to him. People are stressed.

If you check through the local newspapers, you will see how rampant crimes of passion have become. Too many college girls are being slain in cold blood by their lovers. These days, love in Uganda is less expressed through acts of kindness and more through violence. Some of the killers readily admit their actions. What is happening?

Something else that is confusing is happening daily in broad daylight on the roads. There are so many mad people who imagine they are presidents and go around using armed men to chase all traffic off the road as they drive past. This happens after numerous official clarifications that only the president and ambulances can claim such a privilege.

So why are so many people suffering from the delusion that they are the president or that they are critically ill?

Another strange thing that is very unlike us has been happening as the campaigns begin gathering momentum. For as long as we can remember, campaigning candidates give voters inducements in the form of drinks, snacks, clothes and above all, money. But now the reverse has started happening.

These days wherever opposition aspirant Dr Kizza Besigye goes to address the crowds, the voters shower him with cash. Yes, Ugandans peasants and urban crowds contribute cash to their candidate. It could just be a matter of time till voters start collecting money for other candidates as well.

Could these be the signs that the end times are nigh?

Joachim Buwembo is a Knight International Fellow for development journalism. E-mail: buwembo@gmail.com